the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
third nipple confirmed
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
