Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
