My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
