i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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