ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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