Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
