Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
