dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
