Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
