it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
so that wasnt chicken after all
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
my poor anus
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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