i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
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