I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Randomize
