I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Randomize
