Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
