she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
