she woke up with a sticky ear
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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