I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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