I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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