It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Im part way to drunk.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
