Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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