umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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