She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
