do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
