Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
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