i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Randomize
