Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
If its not for food we ain't going out.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
