How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
