So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
