so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
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