i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
