mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
