I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
