But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Randomize
