I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Semen is not good for contacts.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Randomize
