So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
