I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
