would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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