Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
