To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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