make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
