is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
