if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
You're a womanizer and a bitch.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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