i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Randomize
