i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Randomize
