She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Randomize
