i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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