You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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