I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
