I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
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