porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
